Wednesday, 31 December 2014

2014- Looking Back

So as even Facebook is making efforts to develop an app to see our year 2014 in retrospect. So I decided to put in my manual efforts and write a post weighing what worked good for me and what did not. One has to jot down and acknowledge the things for which one was happy. At least then I would be able to say, yes 2014 brought with it, this pocket full of happiness for me.
Happiness- What would make me remember 2014.
Haters, i am giving you all a reason to live. Thank me!
1. Convocation for CA- I was officially given the right to put a prefix before my name. Yes it indeed was THE moment of ecstasy for me. Though after the event, I was back to normal cribbing and cringing over my life.
2. Got rid of night shifts- Yes I was working in night shifts and I was literally cursing myself for having doing that shit. I got rid of those shifts and landed in a decent time slot.
3. Met some wonderful people - Though the night shift was a thing to be cursed for, but it was the place, where I met some friends for life, the friends who actually advised me for my good, who cared genuinely, with whom I laughed my heart out.
4. Exploring new restaurants- This was in my bucket list since long. One of my friend and me just wanted to pamper, splurge and hog in style every 15 days or so. And yes we started, and following it religiously till date. Putting check ins for every place we visited to memorize the same.
5. Road Trip to Jaipur- yes!! may be it was only Jaipur, just 300 kms away, may be my life is just uneventful,but we actually mustered the courage to start the journey at 11 in the night, no plan how to travel, standing on the bus stand waiting for Volvo, not getting one and rummaging our phone contacts to get a car to go. hahah! yes we did it. Amen to more such trips.
6.Chucking some unwanted people out- I was courageous enough to let go some people, on whose priority list I never existed in the first place. I was bold enough to confront them with the truth and chuck them out of my life.
7. Learnt to be more sarcastic- I had taken a step forward towards becoming more sarcastic. * a wide grin* Amen! this is a never ending process. 2015-let me keep working on it.
8. Blogging/Writing- I had been not very regular towards writing. But I made it a point to write and document at least the important episodes of my life.
9. All time companion - I got this all time companion for the loner me- the laptop, my personal laptop. I had one already but office laptop. That personal touch never exuded. I can do whatever I want, open which ever site I like (stop running your brains).
10. Clarity of goals- I suppose I am way more clearer for my goals in 2014 than I was in 2013. This is how I define taking baby steps towards wisdom.
11. Pampering Myself- I read it somewhere "being pampered by your man is a beautiful feeling but being pampered by yourself is a BOSS feeling." This year I pampered myself in terms of style, time,money,food, meeting new souls,choice of my words, and every other damn thing.
So, this was my bit. When I started writing, I felt not more than 4-5 points. But Yayyy!! here I am, God has been gracious enough to bless me happiness to such big chunks that i have been able to jot a good 11 points that made me happy during 2014.
But Mr. God- The list of things which didn't work for me well is still in the drafts. You have to address them as well. :P

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

N days of Sadness.

Day N1

So here am I , inspired by 100 days of happiness, mine is N days of sadness. God.!!! I have been waiting for happiness since long. when when when when!!!

Its been so long that I have been giving interviews and still not able to get through. Am I not good enough? Dont I deserve a satisfying job? Dont I deserve to work in normal timimgs and not entertain those look from people when i tell them that i work in night shifts.? dont i deserve to add my work place on facebook and on linkedin? ( the promise I gave to myself was/is that I would add my work place on both sides as and when I get a good brand name to flaunt off).

Today again i went for an interview ..yes AGAIN. The same story happened.. I went , the interview location too far, asked my friend to drop, cleared round one, came round two, n alas I'm out ..FTW!! this was the third time in a row that I went for an interview and got chucked out in round 2.
I didn't clear the interview was one of the agony, the exertion, the time wastage, the off I took from office, the waste of money , the loss of faith,the de-motivation are the other ones, to name a few.

I don't know why my career is haywire, what is planned for me ..what's in store for me, if in store, where the damn store is.

I'm crying while im writing this post, feeling good for nothing. feeling so useless, so hopeless, so vulnerable, so so so dizzy.
Mummmmyyyy!!!! I wanted to tell you about this but then you would be feeling tensed more than I feel.
 But god where are you, hey bhaggu, I need you, need you , need you to answer my questions, need you to tell me why I'm so unlucky everywhere, why i cleared CA, what is the purpose of my life on this earth.
I want you to answer why this so called 'vehem" innate in us, the so called Indians, that if your left eye blinks unusually, something good is going to happen. it was blinking extraordinarily, making me hope against hope and building optimism in me that I am gonna get through. Why you could not chuck me when in round one, when I was not supposed to get selected. 

Na ladka(pasand ka) milta hai na naukri.!!! kya yahi life hai!!!Please kuch to signal do..
P.S- Everything becomes so hopeless, so negative when you are not feeling good. I switched on the radio to listen to some peppy music but alas ! yahan bhi kismat sath ni de rhi. As soon as I switched on it started playing the slow numbers. FTW!!!!