Sunday, 10 November 2013

Being Jobless. . .

So…What we plan never happens..I don’t know what’s in store for me…or what is God thinking of me..Am I the one who does not deserve to get a good job..Have I committed some sins..or what..Oh God please, show some sign atleast..If that is the case, give me a chance to rectify things..At the back of my mind I know that I have not done something extraordinary to reach at the place where I have dreamt to be one day. But don’t I deserve to get a decent job.
I’m not comparing anyone with myself..Nor should I dare do that..I don’t know what they have been through, how much hard work they have done to reach where they are today. But this is also the fact that when everybody around you is earning, enjoying, spending extravagantly, have excuses (read genuine) that they don’t have time to text, call or whatever. I’m the only one who is sleeping till 10 in the morning, whole day sitting in my night wears waiting for the red beep of my phone..,(that shows someone texted you).But But all this chaos , some one really finds time to call me daily, to ask me how are things, the latest updates on my job search part. All the details later.*winks*
Now coming to being jobless part. So when we start thinking that all is going well..right on track , then only god shows us..why should we never make plans..he comes into the scene and proves that he really is the one directing the whole show..ufff!!
So I switched to a job all in such haste...just to be back in the Indian industry only to know that some people in this world are just inhumane. So this person..the so called employer just used me , actually the useless degree which I hold to realize his own purpose. And the day the assignment got completed, report finalized, he asked me to leave. All this not even accompanied with some professional ethics. First of all he just texted me, no confrontation, Did not have the guts to even call me or for that matter attend my call. Secondly, no notice.. not even a week. I would have never thought of doing that if I ever reach to such a my wildest of dreams.
So there I was rendered jobless, all broken from within, no clue what to do next, financial crisis was going to haunt me soon. I will have to tell everybody oh hi I’m jobless after working whole one year, yes im jobless. Those who are thinking why should I have to beat my own trumpet of being jobless, please if I’m going to sit at home, the neighbors, my so called extended Indian family ..Oh god how I wish I would not have born in India considering the emotional distress I was going to face because of the Indianness in our families.
Coming to practicality, here I’m struggling to fetch a decent job forgetting everything about the profile I ever wanted to work on, a multi national culture in the company which I ever dreamt of working with. My friends say they have been through the same in “their” times of unemployment when they were just out of the shell after qualifying, so they can totally empathize with me. But this would be the understatement of the year if I agree with them completely. No guys you won’t understand this and never will. You people struggled hard after qualifying but here I’m at the same place after working whole one year. My CV is completely spoiled with the time lag. The answer I and my parents have to give to everybody who sees me sitting at home is just beyond words. I’m not disregarding the support and sympathy they have given me and still are. The lending of their ear to the endless babbling about the situation I’m in, by myself. All this, cannot be disregarded at any any cost.
I want to have an encounter with God. I want some answers to the questions. I’m trying all my references; my father is doing the same ,going out of his way. If things were never going to work out, then why why on earth you make me meet the concerned persons, make me hope against the hope that I might get through this. Please don’t do this, it’s a request, it shatters me like anything. It becomes so difficult to gather the broken me again. I have been forwarding my CV to n no. of people. When will I see the time, when people will ask for my refrence, and forward me the CV.I hope I do encounter the other set of feel. I’m tired of going to offices every second day and answer to the question ,”tell me something about yourself” I’m tired of telling everyone how the interview went  or rather how bad I screwed it. When is this going to end. Oh please show some sign, make some way out please.
In the end as they say everything will be okay, I do hope that I might also get to say “whatever happened , happened for good”.

P.S- Reading Fifty Shades of Grey. And in the background the ultra illogical, baseless Punjabi song, “munda iphone varga” But still I’m enjoying it. I love the Punjabi music.