Wednesday, 19 March 2014

N days of Sadness.

Day N1

So here am I , inspired by 100 days of happiness, mine is N days of sadness. God.!!! I have been waiting for happiness since long. when when when when!!!

Its been so long that I have been giving interviews and still not able to get through. Am I not good enough? Dont I deserve a satisfying job? Dont I deserve to work in normal timimgs and not entertain those look from people when i tell them that i work in night shifts.? dont i deserve to add my work place on facebook and on linkedin? ( the promise I gave to myself was/is that I would add my work place on both sides as and when I get a good brand name to flaunt off).

Today again i went for an interview ..yes AGAIN. The same story happened.. I went , the interview location too far, asked my friend to drop, cleared round one, came round two, n alas I'm out ..FTW!! this was the third time in a row that I went for an interview and got chucked out in round 2.
I didn't clear the interview was one of the agony, the exertion, the time wastage, the off I took from office, the waste of money , the loss of faith,the de-motivation are the other ones, to name a few.

I don't know why my career is haywire, what is planned for me ..what's in store for me, if in store, where the damn store is.

I'm crying while im writing this post, feeling good for nothing. feeling so useless, so hopeless, so vulnerable, so so so dizzy.
Mummmmyyyy!!!! I wanted to tell you about this but then you would be feeling tensed more than I feel.
 But god where are you, hey bhaggu, I need you, need you , need you to answer my questions, need you to tell me why I'm so unlucky everywhere, why i cleared CA, what is the purpose of my life on this earth.
I want you to answer why this so called 'vehem" innate in us, the so called Indians, that if your left eye blinks unusually, something good is going to happen. it was blinking extraordinarily, making me hope against hope and building optimism in me that I am gonna get through. Why you could not chuck me when in round one, when I was not supposed to get selected. 

Na ladka(pasand ka) milta hai na naukri.!!! kya yahi life hai!!!Please kuch to signal do..
P.S- Everything becomes so hopeless, so negative when you are not feeling good. I switched on the radio to listen to some peppy music but alas ! yahan bhi kismat sath ni de rhi. As soon as I switched on it started playing the slow numbers. FTW!!!!