So…What we plan never happens..I don’t know what’s in store
for me…or what is God thinking of me..Am I the one who does not deserve to get
a good job..Have I committed some sins..or what..Oh God please, show some sign
atleast..If that is the case, give me a chance to rectify things..At the back
of my mind I know that I have not done something extraordinary to reach at the
place where I have dreamt to be one day. But don’t I deserve to get a decent
job.
I’m not comparing anyone with myself..Nor should I dare do
that..I don’t know what they have been through, how much hard work they have
done to reach where they are today. But this is also the fact that when
everybody around you is earning, enjoying, spending extravagantly, have excuses
(read genuine) that they don’t have time to text, call or whatever. I’m the
only one who is sleeping till 10 in the morning, whole day sitting in my night
wears waiting for the red beep of my phone..,(that shows someone texted you).But
But But..in all this chaos , some one really finds time to call me daily, to
ask me how are things, the latest updates on my job search part. All the
details later.*winks*
Now coming to being jobless part. So when we start thinking
that all is going well..right on track , then only god shows us..why should we
never make plans..he comes into the scene and proves that he really is the one
directing the whole show..ufff!!
So I switched to a job all in such haste...just to be back
in the Indian industry only to know that some people in this world are just
inhumane. So this person..the so called employer just used me , actually the
useless degree which I hold to realize his own purpose. And the day the assignment
got completed, report finalized, he asked me to leave. All this not even
accompanied with some professional ethics. First of all he just texted me, no
confrontation, Did not have the guts to even call me or for that matter attend
my call. Secondly, no notice.. not even a week. I would have never thought of doing
that if I ever reach to such a position..in my wildest of dreams.
So there I was rendered jobless, all broken from within, no
clue what to do next, financial crisis was going to haunt me soon. I will have
to tell everybody oh hi I’m jobless after working whole one year, yes im
jobless. Those who are thinking why should I have to beat my own trumpet of
being jobless, please if I’m going to sit at home, the neighbors, my so called extended
Indian family ..Oh god how I wish I would not have born in India considering
the emotional distress I was going to face because of the Indianness in our
families.
Coming to practicality, here I’m struggling to fetch a decent
job forgetting everything about the profile I ever wanted to work on, a multi
national culture in the company which I ever dreamt of working with. My friends
say they have been through the same in “their” times of unemployment when they
were just out of the shell after qualifying, so they can totally empathize with
me. But this would be the understatement of the year if I agree with them
completely. No guys you won’t understand this and never will. You people
struggled hard after qualifying but here I’m at the same place after working
whole one year. My CV is completely spoiled with the time lag. The answer I and
my parents have to give to everybody who sees me sitting at home is just beyond
words. I’m not disregarding the support and sympathy they have given me and
still are. The lending of their ear to the endless babbling about the situation
I’m in, by myself. All this, cannot be disregarded at any any cost.
I want to have an encounter with God. I want some answers to
the questions. I’m trying all my references; my father is doing the same ,going
out of his way. If things were never going to work out, then why why on earth
you make me meet the concerned persons, make me hope against the hope that I might
get through this. Please don’t do this, it’s a request, it shatters me like
anything. It becomes so difficult to gather the broken me again. I have been
forwarding my CV to n no. of people. When will I see the time, when people will
ask for my refrence, and forward me the CV.I hope I do encounter the other set
of feel. I’m tired of going to offices every second day and answer to the
question ,”tell me something about yourself” I’m tired of telling everyone how
the interview went or rather how bad I screwed
it. When is this going to end. Oh please show some sign, make some way out
please.
In the end as they say everything will be okay, I do hope
that I might also get to say “whatever happened , happened for good”.
P.S- Reading Fifty Shades of Grey. And in the background the
ultra illogical, baseless Punjabi song, “munda iphone varga” But still I’m
enjoying it. I love the Punjabi music.
I was unaware of this phase of your life. But seeing you doing so great i.e. where you are today, seems like all is well if it ends well.
ReplyDelete"Anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger" :)