Friday, 24 February 2017


Imagine a scenario you are in a dark room with no ray of light both literally an figuratively, doors are locked, there's no one around to help you come out see the sun, everyone is outside with loud music, pomp and show, you are screaming and shouting but in vain because people can not listen to you because of music. You have tried everything you could but there is nothing you can do to help yourself to come out. This is exactly what you feel when you are heartbroken and know nothing you do will be of any use to make anything work out. The other person just can not feel the way you feel for them. It kills you inside that nothing is in your control. There is this major difference when you are heartbroken in love and when you are heartbroken in any other situation say at work. In the latter case, you know the areas of development, you know the path to chalk out to improve upon yourselves but in the former case, you can not do ANYTHING to make the situation better and it kills you to not being able to do anything.

Being a person who has a vent in the guise of crying out , I have seen myself crying at odd times of the day at the slight wandering of my mind like when I am in the cab returning home, sitting all alone at the client place in a cabin with no one around, entering into my room after work,knowing there won't be anyone to listen to me. I fear to wet my eyes in such situations, consequent to which I have started fearing an idle mind even for 5 minutes, I fear loneliness in the room, I fear talking to him. For him, explaining his side of story is enough ,justifying his situation is enough because obviously he is not at fault. You just can not force someone to like you. Thus according to him, talking normally after having knowledge of such facts is pretty much fine. But for me, talking to him everytime reminds me, he is not meant for me, he has other person at his priority. This fear has made stop talking to him. I have blocked all means of contacting me because I knew if he contacts me, I can't refuse and will end up talking like nothing happened.But this is only short term happiness, the bigger picture is he is NOT GOING TO COME BACK, NOT EVER GOING TO LOVE ME. 

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